2004-01-28 - 12:55 p.m.
I cannot take this incessent "I hate this place". I feel like with every breath of this phrase I shrink down to near nothing. the words pound in my ears resilliantly resounding bouncing off the interior of my brain until every nook and cranny is consumed with "I hate this place". It makes my insides crawl around each other, silenty strangling me from inside.
It is these words on days like today that make me want to run into the ocean and never turn back. to swim until i find a small deserted island that i may inhabit for the rest of my time. I know this is not possible now, nor will it be in my future. I know that i must face these awful words with vigor and contempt. i need to fight them off like a trubador fighting a bull. standing still waving my red flag until "BooM!" the words fly at me, narrowly passing me.
I feel like i need to remove these words from all dictionaries, thesauruses, books, minds. If i can somehow just erase them then i will have finally won.
but this will never happen. Instead I spend my days with "i hate this place" running around my brain, fighting with my insides until one day I may rise above "i hate this place" and into another dimension of haunting phrases.
Blessed BE
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