2004-07-13 - 1:01 p.m.
I am having a problem that I guess I really can't discuss. I don't know what to do about it. I need to do something cause it is making my life living hell and i am so fucking sick of it. but at the same time, it's like i don't want to do anything about it. well, it's complicated. but i can't talk about it. so it sucks.
everything sucks. except work. that is okay.
i just can't stop the problems. i just don't know what to do. i don't want it to change, I don't want to do that.
sigh. it would be good if i had someone to talk to about this, but i don't. so i guess i'm fucked. as usual.
i am hated and loathed. i am told i am too selfish. i am told i only think of myself.
i find this to be untrue, but do we not always find the negative to be untrue of ourselves?
so i am really confused and in a bad place to make any decision at all.
i have so many questions. too many. i cannot answer them. i do not know the answers.
I was shooting for a lifetime...but my star fell.
blessed be~
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