2003-06-24 - 12:41 p.m.
Well, my wife signed me up for Gold! Cool, now i don't have to wait to put an entry up. And I will work on getting some pics up and links and generally change the html layout. I just haven't gotten around to it yet.
I didn't update yesterday cause i stayed home. my back is killing me. I had to fix the 65 gal. reef this weekend and since it took 3 hours, my back is killing me. i was standing there on a step ladder, bent over and picking up rocks the whole time. i think i took 1-- 5 minute break. Man.
But the good thing is how well the tank looks now and i got a day off to myself to just veg. (mostly)
tonight i have to go to the dreaded zone. My wife's grandmothers. Now I know i have said it before. but she is evil. I am only going cause my wife wants me to (it may save her) and free dinner. but she is going to be in bed, probably, cause she had some minor surgery yesterday and hopefully she won't be cranky. I already told H that I can't stay too long cause my back is already killing me...let's hope that happens.
so, let's see, what happened this weekend? not too much really. We tried scrying for the first time last night. i do believe i saw something. it was weird, but i'm sure it will become more familiar with practice. I guess next time i will try with a specific question in mind so I can see the results.
I want to make my life what i think it will be in the future. i want to be a better me. i am having a hard time changing. i was discussing this with my wife the other day. i just don't know how to change. i mean, i have in the past, but it was a natural change. now i have to be more aware of what i am saying and doing.
especially when it comes to my wife. she thinks i am very selfish and that when we fight, it is because i am selfish and only thinking of me. i don't entirely agree, but i want to work on it. i know i get way too defensive when it comes to certain things. i can give an excuse like: well, when i was growing up i was always blamed for this or that and that is why, but it just gets me deeper into the hole. i know i complain about things that i do all the time, i guess that is why those things bother me in the first place. i will try not to complain about housework again. i will try to go with the flow, even if it bothers me. i just have to get used to it.
Some good news: I got a hold of my friend Kate from College! I am so glad. i have been trying to find these people's email addresses so that i don't have to just call them. I was too nervous to just call because i really wasn't sure how everyone would take me calling. We sort of had a falling out at the end of our last year there and no one wanted to talk to me (they probably think i didn't want to talk to them)But, either way, we weren't talking. i think A had an issue with H, cause A always wanted to go out with me, but i always told her NO. Right from the first year or even the first month. but whatever.
it's just that i miss all my friends. i have no one that knows me, besides my wife, here in fl. i have a few new friends, but i really want to reminisce. i just feel bad, like they all think i didn't want to talk to them, but i did. I was just really depressed and under a lot of pressure to finish school and all. i just needed to do it and unfortunately, i couldn't around them. They wanted to have too much fun and i wasn't ready or in the mood or didn't have the time.
Well, whatever the reason, I'm gonna call kate and see what is up. i hope they all are glad that H and I got married. we'll see i guess.
enough. more later or tomorrow.
blessed be~
�
powered by SignMyGuestbook.com
