2003-07-02 - 9:54 a.m.
okay, so what does it mean when you get in touch with an old friend, they email you say they want to talk, give their phone number and then when you call, they don't call back. Maybe it is because i emailed her and said that I got married to my wife? I even sent a follow up email saying "did you get my message? call me at ***-***=**** and i'll call you right back." Hmm...maybe i shouldn't have tried to find her. I don't see how someone could be offended by my getting married. she knows i am gay and was with H when i left school. It's been almost 5 years for god's sake! (August 8)
Oh well, it's probably just me being totally paranoid and she's just busy moving (cause i think she said she was moving in a month)Either that or she talked to some of our "mutual friends" from college and they advised her not to call me for whatever reason.
see, the whole story is so complicated and long, i just don't know if i can go into the whole thing. but here is the gist.
in the summer before jr yr of college i met hsloane. we hit it off and got together. when i got back to school i thought everyone was happy. they seemed to like her. well, h and i started spending a lot more time together. she would come visit school i would go there on weekends. everything was fine. then the summer before sr year came and i pretty much moved into h's house. when i came back to school we were a lot more serious and i would sort of commute back and forth to school. at this point, i got really depressed. i even broke up with h for a week or two. i stopped talking to my friends as much cause it was too difficult. i didn't know what to say to them and they wanted to know what was "wrong" with me. School was getting harder, i was way behind and had to catch up. i started hanging out with Kristin more and more cause she was in all my classes and she made me do work. (which i desperately needed to do) So, i didn't talk to them for like a few months at the end of school. Maybe it was me pulling away so i wouldn't be so sad to leave such good friends (always have had a hard time with good bye) but whatever the reason, since i left i have missed them. i have wanted to talk to them, but figured they didn't want to talk to me. now i've been living in florida for almost 3 years and i figured it was enough time. i figured they wouldn't be mad at me. but maybe i was wrong.
she seemed sincere in her letter. "holy cow! okay, i am on my way out the door at work, but my phone number is *** *** ****, or at least it will be for the next month or so. i still live in the same place on d_____. are you still in florida? what happened to you any way?
give me a call, or email me back.
it's really good to know you are still out there. i hope you are doing great, and i don't mean that in an empty way.
i hope i will talk to you soon.
loads of love,
k"
They must have all thought i killed myself or something! But see, it seems like she wants to talk to me.
Then i sent this letter back:
"It is soooo good to hear from someone from school. i miss all you guys and wow! I have a lot of news and stuff, too much for me to tell you now (at work) so i will call you tonight or tomorrow. Yeah, i'm still in florida sweating my balls off. it is hot here. h and i got married in vermont last summer (july 6th)! that is my biggest news. glad to hear from you and that my "google" search returned such quick results, but i guess how many ****** could there be in vermont?
talk to you soon,
m"
Well, i guess i'll never know. for all i know she went to Vt. for july 4th vacation and she'll call when she gets back. i don't want to seem to pushy so i don't want to call or email again. i already sent (including this one) 3 emails and left one phone message.
who the hell knows? not me.
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