2003-09-09 - 12:21 p.m.
Well, lets see what should i write about today? I know, my favorite subject, my wife H. I wish that I could explain to her, and to you and anyone who asks, how much I love her and just how I feel about her. I always feel as though I do not express this well enough. I can say "I love you" thirty million times, but I don't feel like it coveys anything that I am really feeling. I feel like the words "I love you" are so fucking played out. Ya know? It's just said too often and so many people don't even believe it when they say it, so it makes me feel like i need a new way of expressing this.
Maybe I should come up with a new phrase, although I am sure many people have tried this. Maybe it should be a handsignal, a monotonal sound, a typed sheet of paper, a flashing light, or maybe not.
I guess I will have to stick with the I love yous for now. There doesn't seem to be a better answer right now.
But I can tell you one thing, I am the luckiest woman on Earth. I have found the most wonderful wife in the universe, as far as I am concerned anyway. She always makes me feel so good about myself, always standing behind me, always caring and asking how I am. Always leading the safe way if I need to be lead, or letting me lead when I am feeling the need (driving for instance). Her touch is as soft and tingly as a feather, making me feel her love for me, her energy pulsing through my body, feeding me. Her knowledge of life holding my hand when I need it. Challenging me to work harder for me, not for someone or something else. She has taught me that I am good enough, that I am not a pile of shit who doesn't deserve any love, life, longing. She lifts my spirits in a way no drug or card ever could. Just hearing her voice will make me smile, in fact just thinking about her voice will make me smile. She makes me smile, and I hope i make her smile too.
H - I love you (for lack of a better, more expressionistic phrase.)
Blessed Be~
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